Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What causes tension between liberals and conservatives? Is it purely based on ideological differences or are there other factors at play?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Hickman's just lost 95% of Arizona chickens to bird flu and says it will take 2 years to rebuild - KJZZ

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Meta in Talks for Scale AI Investment That Could Top $10 Billion - Bloomberg

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Can someone write me a sex story?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

What are mean nicknames to call my sister? She is always so mean to me.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

When was you wife swapping fantasy started?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Texas’ GOP congressional delegation meets to discuss redrawing districts ahead of midterms - The Texas Tribune

I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for fakery

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Are you afraid to get married and why?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy bullshit

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What do feminists mean when they say they want to ‘normalize’ menstruation and its discussion?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Mario Kart World Is Not An Open-World Game, Nintendo Says - GameSpot

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

Sydney Sweeney and the business of being hot - Yahoo

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I see through liars

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I can read

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them